It's been two weeks since I posted last and that is mainly because I'm trying to decide if I want to attempt to blog. It's a tough call on whether I want to continue or not. At any rate, I was on Facebook yesterday and ran across a couple of posts that made me want to write about it.
Have we gotten so politically correct that we now have to be careful about what we post on Facebook on April Fools because we might hurt somebodies feelings? Okay, let me state that I think people are way, way to open to sharing things on Facebook. I rarely post anything, just usually creep through people's posts just because I'm nosy. Okay back to the rant, I'm creeping through people's post and I am reminded about tomorrow (today) being April Fools day, due to the fact that I saw several posts with pregnancy test sticks that show a positive result. With people stating that if you are thinking about posting this on Facebook. Please don't 'cause you might hurt someone's feelings. Seriously?!?!?!?! Somebody actually thought about that? Granted it might be a little sensitive if you are trying desperately to get pregnant, which I might add was never very difficult for me and my wife. So therefore I really don't understand how it effects you; but seriously come on, what's next?? Don't post about getting married, because somebody is out there lonely?? Should I not post pics of my children because some people can't have children?? If I get a new car should I not post that on Facebook, because someone can't afford a new car?? Should I not post pics of my house or remodel projects because someone is homeless or can't afford to remodel??
Where does it stop? People need to lighten up, put on their big people pants and get in the real world!! Oh yeah.. Also, stop posting pics of food, cause I guarantee you it doesn't look as good as it probably tastes. Or at least I'm hoping it tasted better than it looked. With that I will put this rant to a close.
Friday, April 1, 2016
Thursday, March 17, 2016
Is It Necessary??
"I'm writing you a prescription for Tamiflu, you probably saw it on TV, that's where I learned about it." Not exactly words I expected to hear from my doctor. My only regularly used medication sits in a mug in front of me with steam rising above it. It's a beautiful sight and smell, you coffee lovers know what I'm talking about. Anyway, sitting here thinking about what to write about and decided to talk about a recent event.
It started Saturday evening, I had taken the children to a state park near our house. We took a hike played, played on the playground, threw football around and waded in the water. All except my oldest son, he fell into the water while they were trying to carry a large branch out deeper in the lake. Side note here, all of my fatherhood, I feel like I've been an overreacting, harsh, overly critical father. I have recently been trying to adjust my fatherhood reactions so that the softer emotions play out sooner than the harsher emotions. So, anytime I think I have completed this by not flying off of the handle over some trivial matter, I get a small rush of...satisfaction....maybe?? I call them, "Dad deserves a Klondike Bar" moments. That Saturday was a "warm" March Saturday in Pennsylvania. Which means it was about 65 degrees, and that's being generous. The young man stood up totally soaked from armpits down. And I can see the fear in his eyes. I look at him shake my head and with a half smile and say "you better dry off before you plan on riding in my van home." With that, I took him over to the sand volleyball court and threw the football for him so that he had an excuse to roll around in the sand and dry off the water. Yes, that day I deserved a Klondike Bar. :) Course, maybe you perfect people don't struggle with temper flares and have no understanding of these moments.
Well back to my original topic. I came home from the park with a slight tickling in the back of my throat. Wondered if it was seasonal allergies. Not sure that I'm a seasonal allergy guy, but it looked like it could be a possibility. I woke up Sunday and discovered that it was getting a little worse. By Monday morning I could barely crawl out of bed. Bailed on work after only 3 hours and crawled home to lay on the couch. Which FYI Morgan Freeman is an excellent voice to dose off to. Two days laters my muscles and joints had quit aching but I still had major ear drum pressure, sinus congestion, sore throat. I decided to head to the Doctor, which I don't have a family doctor, I think people of my generation have neither Family Doctors or Landlines. This means when I have an issue with my health, I head to the local walk-in clinic. I go through the usual proceedings of insurance card, payment, fill 16 pages of information out; and am immediately taken back to the doctor. Which is a miracle at the local walk-in clinic. My reason for going is that I'm wanting to make sure that I don't have an ear infection. If I do I wouldn't mind an antibiotic. I'm not against medications, just don't go to the doctor looking for them. Had a vasectomy 5 years ago, never filled the Vicodin prescription he game me. Not that I'm tough, just didn't think I needed it. Now the time I had shoulder surgery, I popped those Vicodin's like they were M'M's. Seriously, worst pain in my life was getting the shoulder anchored in place. I still cringe at the thought of it. I actually called the doctor up days after my surgery asking if everything was okay because it was a two-person process to just put deodorant on. Me, lifting the arm with my good hand and my wife applying the deodorant for me.:) So anyway I'm still filling out the paperwork when the doc walks in, asks me what's wrong. I describe my symptoms. He does a rapid check of my ears and throat. I take the time to tell him all the symptoms, when they start, why I am there, pressure in ear drums, worries of ear infection. He tells me he's going to write me a prescription for Tamiflu and I can pick it up at Walmart. I don't say anything because I'm not sure if Tamiflu works on sore throats at this time. He departs the room in normal walk-in clinic doctor fashion. Scarcely has he left the room and I'm on my phone verifying what I think about Tamiflu. You can find what I read here, on webmd. Several things immediately jumped out at me. It treats the SYMPTOMS of sore throat, so according to my knowledge that means it just makes your sore throat feel better. If you have strep throat it won't fix that. Okay, next thing I found was that it could cause nausea and vomiting. Now up until this time I hadn't had any nausea or vomiting. Just the "hit by a bus" feeling. Also saw that it worked best when taken within 2 days/48 hours of symptoms first appearing. Basically, I was on the mend already, and me taking Tamiflu, would improve my condition by approximately zilch. Called the pharmacy and explained my situation, that the doctor had sent in a prescription for Tamiflu but that I thought it would be pointless to start taking it at this time of my sickness. She was very helpful and said she basically would not disagree with my decision. I told her to cancel my prescription and drove home to find my couch and lay down. Hey, if it works for you fine, but I'm the type of person who wonders if we are an over prescribed society. Did the doctor feel obligated to prescribe me Tamiflu? Is that what most people expect when they walk in the doctor? He prescribes a magic pill to make the pain/hurt stop? I wonder about the wisdom behind such actions. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Right?? Whatever happened to gargling saltwater, compresses, steam remedies? Too much work apparently.. That's just my two cents.
It started Saturday evening, I had taken the children to a state park near our house. We took a hike played, played on the playground, threw football around and waded in the water. All except my oldest son, he fell into the water while they were trying to carry a large branch out deeper in the lake. Side note here, all of my fatherhood, I feel like I've been an overreacting, harsh, overly critical father. I have recently been trying to adjust my fatherhood reactions so that the softer emotions play out sooner than the harsher emotions. So, anytime I think I have completed this by not flying off of the handle over some trivial matter, I get a small rush of...satisfaction....maybe?? I call them, "Dad deserves a Klondike Bar" moments. That Saturday was a "warm" March Saturday in Pennsylvania. Which means it was about 65 degrees, and that's being generous. The young man stood up totally soaked from armpits down. And I can see the fear in his eyes. I look at him shake my head and with a half smile and say "you better dry off before you plan on riding in my van home." With that, I took him over to the sand volleyball court and threw the football for him so that he had an excuse to roll around in the sand and dry off the water. Yes, that day I deserved a Klondike Bar. :) Course, maybe you perfect people don't struggle with temper flares and have no understanding of these moments.
Well back to my original topic. I came home from the park with a slight tickling in the back of my throat. Wondered if it was seasonal allergies. Not sure that I'm a seasonal allergy guy, but it looked like it could be a possibility. I woke up Sunday and discovered that it was getting a little worse. By Monday morning I could barely crawl out of bed. Bailed on work after only 3 hours and crawled home to lay on the couch. Which FYI Morgan Freeman is an excellent voice to dose off to. Two days laters my muscles and joints had quit aching but I still had major ear drum pressure, sinus congestion, sore throat. I decided to head to the Doctor, which I don't have a family doctor, I think people of my generation have neither Family Doctors or Landlines. This means when I have an issue with my health, I head to the local walk-in clinic. I go through the usual proceedings of insurance card, payment, fill 16 pages of information out; and am immediately taken back to the doctor. Which is a miracle at the local walk-in clinic. My reason for going is that I'm wanting to make sure that I don't have an ear infection. If I do I wouldn't mind an antibiotic. I'm not against medications, just don't go to the doctor looking for them. Had a vasectomy 5 years ago, never filled the Vicodin prescription he game me. Not that I'm tough, just didn't think I needed it. Now the time I had shoulder surgery, I popped those Vicodin's like they were M'M's. Seriously, worst pain in my life was getting the shoulder anchored in place. I still cringe at the thought of it. I actually called the doctor up days after my surgery asking if everything was okay because it was a two-person process to just put deodorant on. Me, lifting the arm with my good hand and my wife applying the deodorant for me.:) So anyway I'm still filling out the paperwork when the doc walks in, asks me what's wrong. I describe my symptoms. He does a rapid check of my ears and throat. I take the time to tell him all the symptoms, when they start, why I am there, pressure in ear drums, worries of ear infection. He tells me he's going to write me a prescription for Tamiflu and I can pick it up at Walmart. I don't say anything because I'm not sure if Tamiflu works on sore throats at this time. He departs the room in normal walk-in clinic doctor fashion. Scarcely has he left the room and I'm on my phone verifying what I think about Tamiflu. You can find what I read here, on webmd. Several things immediately jumped out at me. It treats the SYMPTOMS of sore throat, so according to my knowledge that means it just makes your sore throat feel better. If you have strep throat it won't fix that. Okay, next thing I found was that it could cause nausea and vomiting. Now up until this time I hadn't had any nausea or vomiting. Just the "hit by a bus" feeling. Also saw that it worked best when taken within 2 days/48 hours of symptoms first appearing. Basically, I was on the mend already, and me taking Tamiflu, would improve my condition by approximately zilch. Called the pharmacy and explained my situation, that the doctor had sent in a prescription for Tamiflu but that I thought it would be pointless to start taking it at this time of my sickness. She was very helpful and said she basically would not disagree with my decision. I told her to cancel my prescription and drove home to find my couch and lay down. Hey, if it works for you fine, but I'm the type of person who wonders if we are an over prescribed society. Did the doctor feel obligated to prescribe me Tamiflu? Is that what most people expect when they walk in the doctor? He prescribes a magic pill to make the pain/hurt stop? I wonder about the wisdom behind such actions. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Right?? Whatever happened to gargling saltwater, compresses, steam remedies? Too much work apparently.. That's just my two cents.
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
About Me
Hello to quite possible nobody,
So my therapist thinks it's a good idea to write my feelings/emotions down, obviously her words weren't "I think you should start a blog," that was my idea. I have a really hard time expressing myself and just recently found that I can "write" (yes the term is used loosely here). Well let's say I enjoy expressing myself on paper. It all started when I helped my wife write a report and a poem for her literature class. Apparently I'm not horrible at it. The first poem was about the Ender Games, if anybody has managed to read that book it was a decent read. But let's rewind and explore my past. I have six children and a wife, thankfully, :) who is in school. She is an absolute amazing woman who I happened to find when I was 20. Dated for 9 months and have now been married for 14 years this year. Now I would love to say that it's because I'm such a good guy but to be honest I've been a huge ass the majority of our marriage. We have six beautiful children, which are the reason we made it to 14 years. Now I'm not saying that we are only staying together now because we have six children. I'm saying that we made it because we have six children. I have improved immensely with time, she says.
So that's the distant past let's bring it within the past 6 years. We moved to a new location for a job opportunity for me 6 years ago. She started nursing school in 2014, I think. It feels like we are barely keeping our heads above water having six children and a wife that is in school. Not to mention she is a rehab addict so we have a house that is in various stages of remodeling. She's funny like that, can't stand not doing something. Not happy unless she has a sledge hammer pounding holes in walls...:(.
At any rate my hat is off to single parents out there, at least I have a date that I'm looking forward to because she will be finished with her Associates of Nursing in December of 2016, HOPEFULLY!!! Of course she won't be finished, she will be continuing on for her Bachelor's and quite honestly I don't know if she will ever stop trying to advance. She is definately committed, maybe needs committed. :). I say that in jest. At any rate I have been really struggling with my life. I had suicidal thoughts, wrote suicide poems. Really, really thought about ending it all. Now I know I'm not out of the dark yet but hopefully I am recovering. I shouldn't have suicideal thoughts, looking at my life I see nothing but possibilities. I love my children, my wife. Just feel neglected. Yeah I've thought that she was cheating. Doesn't everybody at some time? But you honestly don't understand how this girl works. She won't do that, totally committed to me and her children. Now I'm not saying she wouldn't walk away if I wanted out. She wants me to be happy and if that's what it would take, she would be willing to do that. Anyway...I've been struggling.. I have no hobbies and no friends really. It's hard to find friends when you have six kids. I mean where do you meet people? It's not like I feel comfortable walking down to the bar to hang out with people. I feel so far beyond that anymore. Plus it's like you want to do background checks on people you let around your kids. As for hobbies... Has anybody tried fishing with six kids? Yeah not really fun. Anyway I think I have been struggling with lack of friends, lack of hobbies, lack of purpose. I often wonder what the heck is going to happen when these kids grow up and move away. Will I turn into that grouch old man that yells when the neighbor kids run on my grass? I hope not, We have plans of traveling, plans of moving south, plans of me having a coffee shop. I love coffee. Beer? I can survive without it. Not saying I don't enjoy a cold brew. But coffee, that's my addiction. Hot, has to be hot. Not warmed up either. Wife will warm her cup up a couple of times in the microwave in the process of finishing it. Rarely do I let a cup of coffee go cold in a cup. Anyway that's me in a nutshell. I plan on continuing this but...I've been known to start things and never finish them.:). Quite frankly if you read this drop a comment. Let me know this isn't a total dumbass idea.
So my therapist thinks it's a good idea to write my feelings/emotions down, obviously her words weren't "I think you should start a blog," that was my idea. I have a really hard time expressing myself and just recently found that I can "write" (yes the term is used loosely here). Well let's say I enjoy expressing myself on paper. It all started when I helped my wife write a report and a poem for her literature class. Apparently I'm not horrible at it. The first poem was about the Ender Games, if anybody has managed to read that book it was a decent read. But let's rewind and explore my past. I have six children and a wife, thankfully, :) who is in school. She is an absolute amazing woman who I happened to find when I was 20. Dated for 9 months and have now been married for 14 years this year. Now I would love to say that it's because I'm such a good guy but to be honest I've been a huge ass the majority of our marriage. We have six beautiful children, which are the reason we made it to 14 years. Now I'm not saying that we are only staying together now because we have six children. I'm saying that we made it because we have six children. I have improved immensely with time, she says.
So that's the distant past let's bring it within the past 6 years. We moved to a new location for a job opportunity for me 6 years ago. She started nursing school in 2014, I think. It feels like we are barely keeping our heads above water having six children and a wife that is in school. Not to mention she is a rehab addict so we have a house that is in various stages of remodeling. She's funny like that, can't stand not doing something. Not happy unless she has a sledge hammer pounding holes in walls...:(.
At any rate my hat is off to single parents out there, at least I have a date that I'm looking forward to because she will be finished with her Associates of Nursing in December of 2016, HOPEFULLY!!! Of course she won't be finished, she will be continuing on for her Bachelor's and quite honestly I don't know if she will ever stop trying to advance. She is definately committed, maybe needs committed. :). I say that in jest. At any rate I have been really struggling with my life. I had suicidal thoughts, wrote suicide poems. Really, really thought about ending it all. Now I know I'm not out of the dark yet but hopefully I am recovering. I shouldn't have suicideal thoughts, looking at my life I see nothing but possibilities. I love my children, my wife. Just feel neglected. Yeah I've thought that she was cheating. Doesn't everybody at some time? But you honestly don't understand how this girl works. She won't do that, totally committed to me and her children. Now I'm not saying she wouldn't walk away if I wanted out. She wants me to be happy and if that's what it would take, she would be willing to do that. Anyway...I've been struggling.. I have no hobbies and no friends really. It's hard to find friends when you have six kids. I mean where do you meet people? It's not like I feel comfortable walking down to the bar to hang out with people. I feel so far beyond that anymore. Plus it's like you want to do background checks on people you let around your kids. As for hobbies... Has anybody tried fishing with six kids? Yeah not really fun. Anyway I think I have been struggling with lack of friends, lack of hobbies, lack of purpose. I often wonder what the heck is going to happen when these kids grow up and move away. Will I turn into that grouch old man that yells when the neighbor kids run on my grass? I hope not, We have plans of traveling, plans of moving south, plans of me having a coffee shop. I love coffee. Beer? I can survive without it. Not saying I don't enjoy a cold brew. But coffee, that's my addiction. Hot, has to be hot. Not warmed up either. Wife will warm her cup up a couple of times in the microwave in the process of finishing it. Rarely do I let a cup of coffee go cold in a cup. Anyway that's me in a nutshell. I plan on continuing this but...I've been known to start things and never finish them.:). Quite frankly if you read this drop a comment. Let me know this isn't a total dumbass idea.
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